Did You Ever Notice? -- "E" Everyone

Did You Ever Notice?

1.The closest some of us ever got to a 4.0 in college was our blood alcohol content.

2. Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

3. I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.

4. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Implants!"

5. I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast.

6. Sign In Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

7. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery more tolerable!

8. I got a sweater for Christmas... I wanted a screamer or a moaner.

9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

10. I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.

11. The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

12. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.

13. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades...now THAT'S a message!!

14. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

15. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.

16. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

17. I married my wife for her looks ... but not the ones she's been giving me lately!

18. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

19. Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted condom.

20. If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

21. Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!

22. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

23. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

24. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

25. The next time you feel like complaining remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in his world.

26. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

27. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!

Jokes for Everyone

"Blondes are NOT Stupid" Convention
Crazy English Language
Eight Signs You Have Nothing to do at Work
Bible Scripture
My New Spell Checker
If Microsoft Built Cars
Three Dogs
Did You Ever Notice?
Lunch
Ten Dollars
Stupid People
Frustrated Toddler
Fable
A.A.A.D.D.
Forbidden Fruit
The Perfect Job
Bank Loan
...And your occupation is?
The Computer Swallowed Grandma
You know you live in 2004 when...
Aging
How blonde is too blonde?
The Creation Story
Last in Line
Driver's License
How To Tell If You're From California
Interesting Observations
How To Sex A Fly
New Book Releases
Senior Citizens

Fluctuations
Garfield
Why Math is Taught in School
How Do These People Survive?
Vampires
You might be a Floridian if...
Short Jokes
Quips
Chocolate
Understanding Engineers - Take Nine Inner Peace
Five Days With the Flu
Why Women Are Crabby
Prayer For Women
Coming Soon!

Jokes

"E" Rated Jokes
"A" Rated Jokes
"C" Rated Jokes

(E) Everyone -- Appropriate for folks of all ages.
(T) Older Teens -- Appropriate for folks aged 13 and older.
* (A) Adult -- Appropriate only for folks 18 and older. **Adult Access
* (C) Colorful -- Appropriate only for folks 18 and older; however, these are jokes that some may find offensive. **Colorful Access

* Our "A" and "C" rated jokes are password protected areas. We will only give access to those who request, and only to those who certify that they are aged 18 and over. As we really have no way to know for sure, we do advise that parents supervise their children online. While we have password protected these pages, we cannot always be sure that those who enter these areas are truly over the age of 18. Responsiblity for minors on the internet is being left in the hands of their parents and/or guardians. We will not be held liable for anyone under age accessing this material. Please, we do ask that if you are under 18, do not email asking for access. If you are easily offended, please do not view the jokes in our "C" rated section. Jokes in the "A" and "C" rated sections may contain vulgar language, sexual, adult, racial, prejudicial or violent material. Jokes in the "E" rated category may contain innuendos that some parents may object to.

** When emailing, please do NOT ALTER the subject line. In the body of the email, please state your first name, last initial, and email address. Please also certify that you are over the age of 18, and give your year of birth. If any of the requested information is omitted, access will NOT be given.

Passwords will be changed on a regular basis. So, if you received access once and return, you will have to re-request a password to enter again.

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Jokes for Everyone
"Blondes are NOT Stupid" Convention Crazy English Language Eight Signs You Have Nothing to do at Work Bible Scripture My New Spell Checker If Microsoft Built Cars Three Dogs Did You Ever Notice? Lunch Ten Dollars	Stupid People Frustrated Toddler Fable A.A.A.D.D. Forbidden Fruit The Perfect Job Bank Loan ...And your occupation is? The Computer Swallowed Grandma You know you live in 2004 when...	Aging How blonde is too blonde? The Creation Story Last in Line Driver's License How To Tell If You're From California Interesting Observations How To Sex A Fly New Book Releases Senior Citizens
Fluctuations Garfield Why Math is Taught in School How Do These People Survive? Vampires You might be a Floridian if... Short Jokes Quips Chocolate Understanding Engineers - Take Nine	Inner Peace Five Days With the Flu Why Women Are Crabby Prayer For Women	Coming Soon!

Jokes
"E" Rated Jokes	"A" Rated Jokes	"C" Rated Jokes
(E) Everyone -- Appropriate for folks of all ages. (T) Older Teens -- Appropriate for folks aged 13 and older. * (A) Adult -- Appropriate only for folks 18 and older. *Adult Access (C) Colorful -- Appropriate only for folks 18 and older; however, these are jokes that some may find offensive. *Colorful Access Our "A" and "C" rated jokes are password protected areas. We will only give access to those who request, and only to those who certify that they are aged 18 and over. As we really have no way to know for sure, we do advise that parents supervise their children online. While we have password protected these pages, we cannot always be sure that those who enter these areas are truly over the age of 18. Responsiblity for minors on the internet is being left in the hands of their parents and/or guardians. We will not be held liable for anyone under age accessing this material. Please, we do ask that if you are under 18, do not email asking for access. If you are easily offended, please do not view the jokes in our "C" rated section. Jokes in the "A" and "C" rated sections may contain vulgar language, sexual, adult, racial, prejudicial or violent material. Jokes in the "E" rated category may contain innuendos that some parents may object to. ** When emailing, please do NOT ALTER the subject line. In the body of the email, please state your first name, last initial, and email address. Please also certify that you are over the age of 18, and give your year of birth. If any of the requested information is omitted, access will NOT be given. Passwords will be changed on a regular basis. So, if you received access once and return, you will have to re-request a password to enter again.