Forbidden Fruit -- "E" Everyone

Forbidden Fruit

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, or students....here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was, "Don't."
BR> "Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve, we have forbidden fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes, way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, (wondering why he hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants). A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and was He ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God, as our first parent, asked?

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed! But there is reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two Aspirin" and "Keep away from children."

CHILDREN: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children worse than yours.

We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Jokes for Everyone

"Blondes are NOT Stupid" Convention
Crazy English Language
Eight Signs You Have Nothing to do at Work
Bible Scripture
My New Spell Checker
If Microsoft Built Cars
Three Dogs
Did You Ever Notice?
Lunch
Ten Dollars
Stupid People
Frustrated Toddler
Fable
A.A.A.D.D.
Forbidden Fruit
The Perfect Job
Bank Loan
...And your occupation is?
The Computer Swallowed Grandma
You know you live in 2004 when...
Aging
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The Creation Story
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How To Tell If You're From California
Interesting Observations
How To Sex A Fly
New Book Releases
Senior Citizens

Fluctuations
Garfield
Why Math is Taught in School
How Do These People Survive?
Vampires
You might be a Floridian if...
Short Jokes
Quips
Chocolate
Understanding Engineers - Take Nine Inner Peace
Five Days With the Flu
Why Women Are Crabby
Prayer For Women
Coming Soon!

Jokes

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Jokes for Everyone
"Blondes are NOT Stupid" Convention Crazy English Language Eight Signs You Have Nothing to do at Work Bible Scripture My New Spell Checker If Microsoft Built Cars Three Dogs Did You Ever Notice? Lunch Ten Dollars	Stupid People Frustrated Toddler Fable A.A.A.D.D. Forbidden Fruit The Perfect Job Bank Loan ...And your occupation is? The Computer Swallowed Grandma You know you live in 2004 when...	Aging How blonde is too blonde? The Creation Story Last in Line Driver's License How To Tell If You're From California Interesting Observations How To Sex A Fly New Book Releases Senior Citizens
Fluctuations Garfield Why Math is Taught in School How Do These People Survive? Vampires You might be a Floridian if... Short Jokes Quips Chocolate Understanding Engineers - Take Nine	Inner Peace Five Days With the Flu Why Women Are Crabby Prayer For Women	Coming Soon!

Jokes
"E" Rated Jokes	"A" Rated Jokes	"C" Rated Jokes
(E) Everyone -- Appropriate for folks of all ages. (T) Older Teens -- Appropriate for folks aged 13 and older. * (A) Adult -- Appropriate only for folks 18 and older. *Adult Access (C) Colorful -- Appropriate only for folks 18 and older; however, these are jokes that some may find offensive. *Colorful Access Our "A" and "C" rated jokes are password protected areas. We will only give access to those who request, and only to those who certify that they are aged 18 and over. As we really have no way to know for sure, we do advise that parents supervise their children online. While we have password protected these pages, we cannot always be sure that those who enter these areas are truly over the age of 18. Responsiblity for minors on the internet is being left in the hands of their parents and/or guardians. We will not be held liable for anyone under age accessing this material. Please, we do ask that if you are under 18, do not email asking for access. If you are easily offended, please do not view the jokes in our "C" rated section. Jokes in the "A" and "C" rated sections may contain vulgar language, sexual, adult, racial, prejudicial or violent material. Jokes in the "E" rated category may contain innuendos that some parents may object to. ** When emailing, please do NOT ALTER the subject line. In the body of the email, please state your first name, last initial, and email address. Please also certify that you are over the age of 18, and give your year of birth. If any of the requested information is omitted, access will NOT be given. Passwords will be changed on a regular basis. So, if you received access once and return, you will have to re-request a password to enter again.