The creation Story -- "E" Everyone

The Creation Story

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles."

And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them.

And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good."

Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.

And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.

And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger, then said, "You want fries with that?"

And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!"

And Satan said, "It is good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMO's.

Jokes for Everyone

"Blondes are NOT Stupid" Convention
Crazy English Language
Eight Signs You Have Nothing to do at Work
Bible Scripture
My New Spell Checker
If Microsoft Built Cars
Three Dogs
Did You Ever Notice?
Lunch
Ten Dollars
Stupid People
Frustrated Toddler
Fable
A.A.A.D.D.
Forbidden Fruit
The Perfect Job
Bank Loan
...And your occupation is?
The Computer Swallowed Grandma
You know you live in 2004 when...
Aging
How blonde is too blonde?
The Creation Story
Last in Line
Driver's License
How To Tell If You're From California
Interesting Observations
How To Sex A Fly
New Book Releases
Senior Citizens

Fluctuations
Garfield
Why Math is Taught in School
How Do These People Survive?
Vampires
You might be a Floridian if...
Short Jokes
Quips
Chocolate
Understanding Engineers - Take Nine Inner Peace
Five Days With the Flu
Why Women Are Crabby
Prayer For Women
Coming Soon!

Jokes

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Jokes for Everyone
"Blondes are NOT Stupid" Convention Crazy English Language Eight Signs You Have Nothing to do at Work Bible Scripture My New Spell Checker If Microsoft Built Cars Three Dogs Did You Ever Notice? Lunch Ten Dollars	Stupid People Frustrated Toddler Fable A.A.A.D.D. Forbidden Fruit The Perfect Job Bank Loan ...And your occupation is? The Computer Swallowed Grandma You know you live in 2004 when...	Aging How blonde is too blonde? The Creation Story Last in Line Driver's License How To Tell If You're From California Interesting Observations How To Sex A Fly New Book Releases Senior Citizens
Fluctuations Garfield Why Math is Taught in School How Do These People Survive? Vampires You might be a Floridian if... Short Jokes Quips Chocolate Understanding Engineers - Take Nine	Inner Peace Five Days With the Flu Why Women Are Crabby Prayer For Women	Coming Soon!

Jokes
"E" Rated Jokes	"A" Rated Jokes	"C" Rated Jokes
(E) Everyone -- Appropriate for folks of all ages. (T) Older Teens -- Appropriate for folks aged 13 and older. * (A) Adult -- Appropriate only for folks 18 and older. *Adult Access (C) Colorful -- Appropriate only for folks 18 and older; however, these are jokes that some may find offensive. *Colorful Access Our "A" and "C" rated jokes are password protected areas. We will only give access to those who request, and only to those who certify that they are aged 18 and over. As we really have no way to know for sure, we do advise that parents supervise their children online. While we have password protected these pages, we cannot always be sure that those who enter these areas are truly over the age of 18. Responsiblity for minors on the internet is being left in the hands of their parents and/or guardians. We will not be held liable for anyone under age accessing this material. Please, we do ask that if you are under 18, do not email asking for access. If you are easily offended, please do not view the jokes in our "C" rated section. Jokes in the "A" and "C" rated sections may contain vulgar language, sexual, adult, racial, prejudicial or violent material. Jokes in the "E" rated category may contain innuendos that some parents may object to. ** When emailing, please do NOT ALTER the subject line. In the body of the email, please state your first name, last initial, and email address. Please also certify that you are over the age of 18, and give your year of birth. If any of the requested information is omitted, access will NOT be given. Passwords will be changed on a regular basis. So, if you received access once and return, you will have to re-request a password to enter again.