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Five Days With the Flu

Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother (who has the flu) by her well-meaning husband. Pay attention to what he calls her each time he leaves a note!

Monday A.M.
My Dearest: Please sleep late. Everything under control. Lunches packed. Kids off to school. Menu for dinner planned. Your lunch is on a tray in refrigerator: finger-sandwiches and fruit cup. Thermos of hot tea by bed-side. See you around 6:00. Hope you're feeling better.

Tuesday A.M.
Honey: Sorry about the egg rack in the refrigerator. I tried to catch it. Hope you got back to sleep. Did the kids tell you about the Coke I put in their Thermos bottles? Apparently not a good idea. The school might call you on this. Dinner may be a little late. I'm doing your door-to-door canvas for Liver Research. Your lunch is in refrigerator. Hope you like leftover chili.

Wednesday A.M.
Dear Doris: Why in the name of all that is sane would you put soap powder in the flour canister! If you have time, could you please come up with a likely place to find Chris's missing shoes? We've checked the clothes hamper, garage, back seat of the car and wood box. Did you know the school has a ruling on bed-room slippers? There's some cold pizza for you on a napkin in the frig. Am trying to find out what smells in the kitchen. Will be late tonight. Driving eight Girl Scouts to tour meat packing house.

Thursday A.M.
Doris: Don't panic over water in hallway. It crested last night at 9 P.M. Will finish laundry tonight. Please pencil in answers to following:
1. How do you turn on the garbage disposal? I thought it was automatic ... Guess not.
2. Why would that rotten kid leave his shoes in his boots?
3. How do you remove a Confederate flag inked on the palm of a small boy's hand?
4. What do you do with leftovers when they begin to snap at you when you open the door?

I don't know what you're having for lunch! Surprise me!

Friday A.M.
Hey: Don't drink from pitcher by the sink! Am trying to restore pink dress shirt to original white. Take heart. Tonight, the ironing will be folded, the house cleaned and the dinner on time. I called your mother.


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Fable
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New Book Releases
Senior Citizens
Fluctuations
Garfield
Why Math is Taught in School
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Vampires
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Short Jokes
Quips
Chocolate
Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
Inner Peace
Five Days With the Flu
Why Women Are Crabby
Prayer For Women
Coming Soon!


Jokes
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