It was several years ago,
when I first became pregnant with my daughter. At that time I was a
Born Again Christian. I was regularly attending the Church of
God. This was a non-denominational church which I had 'thought' was
the right place for me.
One afternoon after church
services, one of the ladies from the church asked me to her place that
night. She had said she had some maternity clothes and whatnot that
she wanted to give me. So, my daughters' father and myself headed to
her place that Sunday night. What we walked into was something that
had never crossed my mind......
When we arrived, she gave me
a couple bags of shoes, maternity clothes, and some baby clothes. It
wasn't much, but I was VERY grateful to her for what she'd given me.
We had a nice dinner too.
After dinner, several people
from the church had shown up for 'coffee'. Well, that was one of the
worst nights of my life.
The pastor of the church,
along with several 'elders' of the church, sat there and ridiculed me and put
me down. They told me that my baby would forever burn in hell because
I was pregnant out of wedlock. They judged me and called me a
'jezebel'. They said some very hurtful things to me and about my
baby. These were things I could never forget and never have. I
have NEVER in my life ever heard a 'man of the cloth' speak in such a
way. I was appalled. I should not have been treated the way they
treated me. I had told them that my baby would NOT be punished for
what I'd done and that my baby would not burn in hell, nor was my baby a
child of Satan.
As you can see, it was quite
a horrific night with these 'so-called' Christians.
This is when I began to
question my faith and the church. To me, this was not the way one
should be treated. Yes I did get pregnant out of wedlock. I was
going thru a divorce at the time and was not married to my daughters'
biological father. (Was a good thing too as our relationship didn't last
more than a year.) I never went back to church after that.
I began to do some very
serious soul--searching to find out who I was, who I wanted to be, and what
I really truly believed.
I found that Christianity
was not for me. If this was how Christians acted and treated folks,
well, I didn't want any part of that......
